Q:Why Blog? A: It's cheaper than therapy, but less self-destructive than a handful of Xanax

The real question is, what do you do when every site worth trolling is blocked on the work servers and you've run out of paper clips to make into one long chain which you use to try and fish the rogue staple out of the carpet?

Well, (drumroll please) you start a blog that no one will likely ever read and fill it with metaphors and homages to other blogs no ones ever read and books that have long since been out of print (Murder Mile anyone?). Throw in some obscure movie references and you're good to go. Maybe a few reviews of stuff just in case someone is reading this, and maybe even some drama, like an unwanted pregnancy or gratuitous drug use. Just keep it safe and scripted and family-friendly so as not to get your own blog blocked off the work servers.

Really, though, it's just a way to pass the time and clean some of the corrosive buildup off your right brain. In case anyone's keeping track, you're at 1 obscure reference and 1 bizarre metaphor. Ah, metaphors. You love the way certain words taste as they leave your tongue and the way a well equipped metaphor is both beautiful and repulsive; both personal and vague.